Quittin' Time

Sooooo, it's that time again, the time to quit smoking. I have had a hella time with this quitting process this year. After being smoke free for I think 8 years I had started up again in August 2010. I'm going to be totally honest, that first cigarette was good! You read so many times about how when you have quit and you start again, that first cigarette is horrible, nope, mine was good. I remember after taking the first drag even saying outloud "damn, that is soooo good". But, that's where the problem lies isn't it? It's great at first. I overlook the smell, heck, I get used to it. I rely on those cigarettes, they become my friend, my best friend really, because they are always there when I need them. And I'm a great friend to them too, because I will do anything to get them,  if I had to choose between spending money on them or food, they would win.

But then, the glamour wears off. I see how much I spend on them, not just money, but time too. When I lived in Portland, I smoked in my apartment, now I've had to smoke outside, and what a waste of time. I couldn't multitask. Not too mention, brrrr, freezing!!! I have tried I don't know how many times to quit in 2011. I believe I even tried a couple times in 2010. I have lost count. I haven't ran in months, I still have a lingering cough from when I was sick over a month ago.....seriously? I think I have a bruised rib too, very painful. 

Friday was my quit day. I am not going cold turkey, and I'm not following the whole patch plan. I have started with the final patch step and will use them for 2 weeks, just to take off the edge, then no more nicotine at all. I am ready this time. 

Dear American Spirit Menthol Light Cigarettes,

You were there for me when I really needed you. I was stressed out beyond belief, and there you were. It was like no time had passed, we were right back to our old relationship. I had forgotten how much you meant to me. I forgot how much I relied on you. I forgot how good you made me feel. But, I also forgot how I lost myself to you. I had to give up a lot of things for you, and in the end, sorry to say, you're totally not worth it. I am not going to lie to myself or to you, I know I will miss you at times, but I've just got to remember, that me and you, we're just not good for each other...............